Lazy Movie Reviews

After spending way too many years assisting Hollywood douchelords, I have a hard time getting behind these kind of movies.

Even Kevin Spacey at his creepiest best, doesn’t come close to his Swimming with Sharks rage. Though maybe that’s a good thing.

And I can get behind a bald, fat Colin Farrell. Really. Hubba hubba. J/K. But he was criminally underused here, as he is elsewhere in Hollywood.

But I’ve always had a *rational* hatred for Jennifer Aniston. See: (RIP) Mike Starr’s guitar painted on Alice in Chains’ Unplugged special with the fitting: Friends Don’t Let Friends Get Friends Haircuts. Though I do kinda love that she played into the tabloids’ psychotic lunatic singleton characterization of her. That was pretty bad ass, Jen. (Team Aniston over Team Jolie any day, bitchez.)

And I’m starting to irrationally hate Jason Sudeikis’ meta womanizing characterization (blame Us Weekly again), despite his killer Biden impression. Don’t tell Lorne, ‘kay?

Charlie Day was, for once, NOT YELLING, which was a nice change. 

And Jason Bateman channeled his everyman frustration more naturally as he did in Mike Judge’s Extract vs. the now cliched put-upon eye-roller he portrayed so brilliantly in Arrested Development.

With direction by hilarious doc helmer Seth Gordon of King of Kong fame, Bosses contained dark and slapstick elements without going too Debbie Downer or Jim Carrey, which is not easy to do.

Fun fact: it was co-written by the impossibly hunky-ish John Francis Daley, the grown up version of Sam Weir from Freaks and Geeks, along with his writing partner.

Overall: even if your boss is a horrible SOB, you will laugh and not cringe too hard as in Prada, Sharks, etc. 

Let me start off by confessing I’ve driven over 2 hours to an Indian casino to see Tim McGraw play so this review might be a *bit* biased. What can I say? I’m a sucker for men with camel balls (to borrow a Chelsea Lately-ism) and chest hair. But seriously, he’s a great actor. 

See: Friday Night Lights (the movie) which also stars his Country Strong nemesis Garrett Hedlund as his “Ah don’t wahnt yo life” rebellious Texas football playing son. (Sidebar: Can we get a vandermeme for that ish?)

And I was curious to see the latest by writer-director Shana Feste who was extremely gracious and cool when I met her (and my mom’s favorite Irish Hollywood hunk Pierce Brosnan!) at the Arclight over the summer at a Q&A for her feature debut The Greatest, which also starred Carey Mulligan. But moreover because Feste said the story was modeled after Britney’s breakdown and comeback story, and y’all know I’m a *little* bit obsessed with pop culture.

Still, I went in nervous that it would be GOOPy to say the least.

Though Gwynnie’s recent turn on Glee and my irrational love of her duet with Huey Lewis kept me optimistic.

And I found I quite enjoyed her performance, along with Leighton Meester’s music—particularly her cover of Rascal Flatts’ Words I Couldn’t Say—because to me and legions of Gossip Girls, she brings way more to the table than Blake Lively ever will. Pay attention, Hollywood!

But back to the lecture at hand. Country Strong was surprisingly more indie than Red State safe (see Britney comparison above) than the “look at my many talents” music career-launching/comeback vehicle it’s presumed to be.

Because of Gwyneth’s absence from the Hollywood scene, to quote her SNL monologue, to “become British,” I don’t imagine this performance will garner an Oscar nod but it’s good to know GP is country stronger than ever—even if the folks at TIME don’t think she’s America’s Sweetheart. Because what does that even mean anyway? Like Aaron Sorkin said, “Elite is not a bad word, it’s an aspirational one…smart girls have more fun.”

I know, I know. But Michael Cera always plays the same role!

(pic via fuckyeahprancingcera)

And blech, who wants to see yet another video game/comic book adaptation?

But who amongst us doesn’t love witty British humor?

And making a possible suitor defeat your 7 evil ex-boyfriends to prove his manhood?

Including Jason Schwartzman at his weasely best?  Ok, that’s pretty cool.

Despite the odds and the protagonists’ obvious lack of chemistry, it’s a fun, comedic twist on the coming-of-age love story.

Big ups, Edgar Wright.

A film by Banksy—kudos already

Documented by le charmant Thierry Guetta aka Mr. Brainwash 

Who took street art into his own hands

And later resented by the artists who encouraged him— Banksy and Shepard Fairey (of Obama fame)

Hoax or not, how could you not be brainwashed into liking Thierry?

Street art is one of my favorite parts about living in LA. I was fortunate to live in the epicenter of Thierry(/Banksy?)’s work for three years—before I moved to the Eastside—and I miss the excitement of driving past his(/their?) ever-shifting work on La Brea at San Vicente.

Now if I could find out more info on Alec, I’d be super impressed. Thierry? Banksy? 

Please Give a ____ about this movie.

Nicole Holofcener’s one of my favorite writer-directors on the scene and I’m so glad the Writer’s Guild honored her with a Best Original Screenplay nomination alongside Lisa Cholodenko (The Kids Are Alright). Hey Academy, you know you can nominate more than one female writer-director in a given year, right?  Please…give! But I digress.

Of course, Catherine Keener does a brilliant job as in all Holofcener flicks.

And Sarah Steele, previously seen/unseen as it were as Adam Sandler’s daughter in Spanglish, delivers a sweet and relatable portrayal of a teenager suffering from acne and self-esteem issues.

Also featuring the delightful Rebecca Hall, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt and my favorite creepy-hot crush and Holofcener regular, Kevin Corrigan, in a compelling and fun narrative.

Overall, a very enjoyable film with realistic portrayals of all types of women. After all, not everyone’s a Samantha or a lesbian looking for a sperm donor in real life. Cheers, Ms. Holofcener, once again.

A movie about a popular social networking website…sounds suspect.

Wait a minute, David Fincher is directing?

And Aaron Sorkin is writing?…Hold for applause.

And Trent Reznor is back in my life? I bow down.

Jesse Eisenberg as the nerd who can never get the girl. Fake but enjoyable plot device, at least according to Zuckerberg’s 60 Minutes interview.

Andrew Garfield as the nerd who likes Asian girls.  The Suite Life?

The weasely Winkelvi—played brilliantly by one Armie Hammer—out to get said nerds for stealing their idea.

With Justin Timberlake as himself the douchey founder of Napster brought in to take the nerds’ website global.  Props for *NSYNC era pubehead.

Moral of the story: You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.

Facebook is life. The rest is just details.

The third in Sofia Coppola’s hotel as prison trilogy

Stephen Dorff? SFW

Slow, monotonous everyday life takes inspired by Chantal Akerman- interesting to a degree, but ultimately leaves you wanting more shot variety.

On the topic of elevators, Benicio del Toro makes a great cameo recalling 2004 Oscars night.

Not my favorite Sofia film but it was still enjoyable.

And I sat next to a cute mustachioed hipster who resembled Brandon Flowers and asked for my number—so it was totally worth it!

But the best part had to be watching it at a snobby art house cinema in NYC and overhearing: “She should be ashamed of herself!”

To quote Cindy Adams, “Only in New York, kids.  Only in New York.”

Shitty rapper.  Best Actor.